January 1, 2014
a tale of woe and bathtubs

so, i haven’t updated since before i got my braces off. this is me just glossing over the fact that i was hit by a car while biking to work about 4 months ago because i’m personally tired of dealing with the effects of that accident, and if i’m tired of living this concussed life, surely people are tired of hearing about it on my various social media.

instead, i’m going to share with you the story of how i’ve come to possess 3 (soon to be 4) copies of the lord of the rings.

back in 1998, i started high school. i think. yes, it was 1998 and i had to google math that because even pre-concussion i was ass at head math. so, it’s 1998 and i was taking journalism with this youngish teacher named van wyk. i absolutely adored van wyk, he was this wiry, skinny, vaguely dangerously russian looking, what i would now refer to as a hipster, dude. i have no idea why he was teaching highschool in my podunk hometown, but my life is better for it.

i used to stay after school in van wyk’s room until my mom would come pick me up. he’d grade papers and talk to me as i, i’m sure, dazzled him with the incredibly deep things i thought about as a teenager, which looking back on i cringe. i’m pretty sure everyone knows what i’m talking about, that stage where you obviously have discovered the world for the first time and no one has ever thought the thoughts you were thinking right then.

anyway, one afternoon he told me i should really read lord of the rings becuase he was positive i’d like it and there was a movie being made so i should read it before the movie spoiled the book.

that year i asked for lord of the rings and got it for christmas. i am about to show the world pictures of this book that will probably make librarians cry. i’m going to preface this sorry display by saying 1. i’ve read this book 20+ times by this point, and 2. i know it was probably a bad idea to read a book of this magnitude 20+ times while bathing (but dammit, bath time makes for the best reading time). please don’t hunt me down and murder me for crimes against literature.

i actually found the dust jacket for this copy while visiting my mom for the holidays this year. it doesn't look so bad from this angle.

the spine is broken, the back cover not even attached. an entire signature has fallen out.

i mean, look at this shit. i....

...am so...

... ashamed.

for reference, that's my waterlogged copy next to a brand new copy. i think that's approaching the thickness of a george r.r. martin book now.

So for xmas, my loving husband bought me what is now going to be known as the “non-bathtub copy” of lotr. it’s the fancy 50th anniversary edition.

leather cover, slipcase, foil stamping (!!!)

y crazy fold out 2 color map of middle earth! it also have full color illustrations inside. not sure how many/who by. i only caught the pages from the book of mazarbul on a cursory flip through.

this was my xmas present to myself, i've wanted this alan lee illustrated edition for literally forever after learning that a lot of the frames from the movie were pulled directly from illustrations in this edition.

look! it's almost exactly the scene from the movie where frodo and sam capture gollum. except frodo doesn't have dreamy eyes.

so yeah, for those people who aren’t privy to my ridiculous tolkein geekery, you know someone who owns three copies of lord of the rings, you’ll never be cool simply by association.

 

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